I have been putting off collaborating with Hatt Fitness for a while as I have enjoyed being a semi-sloth all winter. Last year I had so much pent up anxiety about the changes I was going through I did tons of forest runs. The woods below our house brought me so much peace. I would fly out in whatever I had on, down to the creek and just run like a freak till I felt better.
Since moving last summer I have biked lots, paddled, snowshoed and done yoga but haven't really pushed myself fitness wise. I spent a lot of time hibernating in bed when I don't have the boys. Thinking and working stuff out where I felt cosy and safe. I always do plank, push ups, barre stuff and squats drying my hair or watching a movie but nothing structured or that would show any drastic change. Bikini season is just around the corner though so I told Jes Hatt I would be game to let him work his trainer magic on me if we focussed on the 3 A's I want to improve...abs, arms and ASS!
For several years I have been baby stepping towards the size that feels good for my body. I am not meant to be a curvy goddess, I feel best fairly lean. I don't have a scale and don't check my weight or diet. I like eating but try to eat well most of the time to balance off my love of treats. While getting my body back after three babies I also lost some parts I miss like my booty! So I will work hard with Jes to do exercises to give me some shape in the rear to keep my jeans up. My tummy and arms are my other two areas I want to tone up more so Jes has his work cut out for him. I have invited some friends to join me for Backyard Bikini Fitness classes here for the coming weeks and the ever so talented Amanda Huston from Amanda Huston Photography documenting the shennanigans. Yikes.
This is my happy place...the magical blue/green waters of Kal Lake on a board. Will be holding this image in my head when Jes is putting us through the ringer later. It is going to be an awesome summer on the lake. Follow my SUP love board on Pinterest. Kalavida Surf Shop is open six days a week now and is full of lovely SUP stock to get you and yours out on the water this year.
It's a gross, rainy, cold day out but we have made the commitment and are accountable to Hatt Fitness so stay tuned for more from our Backyard Bikini fitness adventure.
Easter has always been a special holiday to me and I would venture to say I like it much more than Christmas. The Easter Bunny certainly kicks Santa butt in my books any day.
I love all things about the spring, all my most coveted flowers or plants are spring varieties, rannuculus, pussy willows and grape hyacinth or muscari, I planted over 300 of those bulbs on the property when we built Birch Hill and will do the same the next time I settle in somewhere as they are magical popping through the grass and in clusters peeking out of rocks and such.
As for Easter traditions it is hard not to swoon for the Easter hues, Easter dresses, Easter related animals , the simple meals and of course the chocolate!
Year round I collect images and ideas that inspire me on two Pinterest boards you might enjoy as well...
This year my boys are getting older and I only have them here the Easter Monday so I have kept things quite a bit simpler than normal. We brought them up having a traditional Polish Easter breakfast that I have had my whole life and they love it so I am looking forward to having a quick visit with them today to dye the eggs for that. Then we will give Ry an egg hunt and have a mellow day with a special dinner. It's just us this year which is odd but will be nice in a different way.
Tonight I got invited to an Easter dinner with a group of people I don't really know which is so lovely I was touched. I must admit though I had to fight my initial shy instinct to say no and put on my big girl panties and plan to venture out. I am baking some chocolate fudge cupcakes with cream cheese buttercream frosting to bring along and am excited now to make some new friends.
Easter and spring and a new moon all bring new life and new starts and fresh outlooks after a long winter. I love that and the lightness and hope it brings to life.
Wishing you a blessed Easter filled with family and friends,
Here is a post showing the Easter branches I normally always do but didn't this year...hope the boys don't notice. Easter Beauty
Many of you have been messaging me personally or noticing small things like my kitchen looks different or I know longer mention hubbie. From my writings I know you are aware I have had a tough go of the past year or so. I have been at a complete loss in terms of what to say.
I have been deeply hurt by a few people I trusted in who weren't openly honest lately, and I realize I have been doing the same here on Snicks but on a different level. For that I am truly sorry.
The truth is last summer after a long struggle, many tough decisions and mistakes I separated from my husband. There is no blame...we both let us fall apart and it didn't just happen, our rift started over ten years ago. We had not been working as a team like people in a relationship should for a very long time. It was smothering me, I wasn't proud of the woman I was becoming. I felt invisible and unheard. I was so lonely and felt unloved. Not only that, we were doing a huge disservice to our boys as parents by pretending and living in tension instead of truth.
Before I left we lived in different parts of the house for many months like awkward room-mates. I felt it was confusing and upsetting for my boys. Maybe I was wrong, as it has been far from easy for anyone to adjust to the new way our family looks. My boys blame me as I was the one to leave the house we built and I loved living in. You were there as I went over plans and picked everything down to the doorknobs. Really though as lovely as the house turned out it was all stuff, and not important. The hurt rose from all the dreams I had for us as a family there and from the memories we created together. I suppose I will never know for sure if I screwed up or made a bad choice. But I do know I made no decisions lightly, I turned over every stone and tried to fix things for many years. Being alone after being with someone for almost twenty five years was a very scary path for me to take. I committed myself to Blake when I was only sixteen. We made a lot of really terrific memories together and three amazing boys, he will still always be a part of my life and is a good person. I will love him always for that.
I actually moved out last summer and have been working so hard since to adjust and mostly to get strong so I could be the Mom my boys need and want. I want them to respect me and learn to honour their hearts and live in a simple way that makes them happy. In my heart I genuinely feel you cannot make someone else happy or love someone to fullest extent without being good with yourself. Loving deeply is selfless and leaves you vulnerable. Trust and support are key or you can't be openly honest and loving. We all have issues and flaws, and will likely face challenges greater than we ever expected possible. That is life and through it all there is always so much to be grateful for and walk towards.
When I started this blog years ago it was based on the quote and life goal "Follow Your Bliss" from Joseph Campbell. I knew I wasn't living authentically somehow. I knew there was more and I wanted to grow as a person and Momma. There are people everywhere living in the same turmoil, searching, not sleeping, feeling empty, going through the motions...our society is so complicated now and we are loosing ourselves in it.
For the past couple years I have been comforted by the thought Everything Happens for a Reason and tried so hard to hold on to that statement when I was practically paralysed with feelings and fear. It's also opened me up to some really beautiful moments, lessons and experiences that filled my heart in a ways it's never felt and that brings me great inspiration and peace.
I am so sorry this took me so long and I am always so grateful for the messages and hearing your stories and advice or experiences. With many things in life I am spontaneous and adventurous but this was such a slow process and I had to take baby steps to find my way and share my changes with you. Plus, I wanted to wait till my boys settled in with the shift, and I knew for certain I had found me again. More than half of marriages sadly don't last. When we hear statistics we never believe it will be us, until it is. Please don't think I am looking for attention or pity, I am finding my way okay and feeling stronger than ever in many ways. I just really needed to come clean and be honest and stop procrastinating.
love you friends,
Chai tea smells luxuriously divine. Spicy and soul soothing. It a treat I crave when I am chilled on damp spring days like this. Anyone who knows me is well aware of my obsession with body oils and essential oils in general.
I don't treat myself a lot to stuff, and don't do fancy, but I am pretty passionate about what I put on my skin. Bare Nature is a local company devoted to creating organic products that I happen to adore.
Normally I get an awesome body oil mixed up and Jaye knows the rich spicy essential oils I love for the colder seasons. Lately though I have been LOVING her Bare Nature Vanilla Chai Healing Body Lotion.
It's a rich, thick lotion that goes on heavy but rubs in quickly. It leaves your skin smelling lightly of vanilla with a kick of intense chai spices. Load it on after your bath or shower and it feels amazing. Best part though is the little kicks of scent you get later. On your sheets, your clothes or my fave when the hot water hits your skin in the shower the following day.
What could be better than a chai scented shower on a chilly morning?
Looking forward to getting the Orange Creamsicle scent for summer as well. All of Jaye's amazing Bare Nature products are available online and locally through various retail outlets.
Thinking a contest is long overdue here...how some Bare Nature organic loose teas? There are ten wonderful blends to savour.
Hop over to the Bare Nature facebook page and like it, then leave a comment here on the blog, or on my Snicks Facebook page under the contest post telling me which of her products you most would like to use/try from the Bare Nature Products web store.
We will draw when the Bare Nature facebook page reaches 750 likes and the winner will get their treats in the mail.
Good luck friends,
Tonight I found some photo files from early last summer when my folks stayed with me a short time. They like to party and were off for some social thing and I grabbed them quick to document their cuteness. They spend winters away and will be back in May so I thought I would share on here quickly.
They are my only family within the province and I am grateful to have them an hour or so away for me and the boys. They have worked hard always and have taken care of themselves so it's their time to play and enjoy their freedom. Also...it's going to be their 50th wedding anniversary this summer so I have to say they look pretty fantastic.
Being a parent is effin hard! Harder than I ever expected and as my boys grow up so fast and become so independent I find myself more and more grateful for all my folks gave to me. My parents didn't baby me and at time I hated them for it but now I am so grateful and I realize how much I learned not by what they said and did but by seeing them work hard and stay strong in life.
I have no idea what my boys will think of me when they leave the nest...I already have a teenager who thinks I am completely evil and a tween who has crossed the fine line from thinking I am the cat's ass to bouts of eye rolling and embarrassment. They both come back to me and still open up...our attachments are there beneath the hormones and I know they feel my love and security but it's still hard. Ry is my last hope and hopefully the third time is a charm for nailing a teen that wants to hang with me. He still reaches for my hand whenever we walk and hangs off my every word when I read or sing and comes in for snuggles and for that I am more grateful than anything. I will bake and craft and play hide and seek or whatever makes him sparkle while I can because I know now how fleeting the years are and everything else can wait.
love ya Mom & Dad,
Also a big shout out to my ex parents-in law as they were amazing role models for over twenty years too and it was Big Carl's birthday today. They are in Ontario but were there for me so much during university when my folks were already in BC and I was still out east...and they have always been there since too. Thanks Big Carl and Syb. So grateful for all you did. oxo
"Where I create,
there I am true"
-Rainer Maria Pilker
Last night I dreamed of a photo shoot idea. I have been passing the spot since last summer when I moved. The details captivate me. I see them cropped by the lens of my camera and in high contrast. There is power and peace in them. It's a depressing, rainy day and I was a bit lost of where to start with my to-do list. This place I saw in my dreams is just short bike ride away. I think I need to honor that and make going there my reward for checking off a few menial jobs today.
"Where I create, there I am true" Rainer Maria Pilker
If you are feeling a little lost in life as well, you might find some comfort and inspiration in a newer Pinterest board I have been creating called Synchronicities Love .
Hugs friends, welcome spring & happy weekend!
Well it's a year of change and fresh starts for me. My boys Granfolk were Irish so for the past 16 years of being a Momma I took it on myself to make this Irish holiday special for them. Leprechaun tricks, decorations and silly things to celebrate. The shenanigans went with us on many spring break holidays as well. Disneyland, Mexico, Hawaii...I always packed a few things to keep them believing in the magic.
Ridiculous little things like that have always being so fun for me as their Mom. This year they are with their Dad for dinner so I am kinda off the hook. I made green smoothies and have some green iced shamrock cookies to send with them but then my job is done. I might have to put on my green dress (I have a weakness for dresses, especially green ones!) and hit a pub for some Irish Car Bombs! lol
As I am a big sap I had to scroll back on here and look at some images from Marches past.
In Whistler at the Olympic Village construction site celebrating Liam's win in an art contest. His drawing was made into a huge stained glass window to decorate the main building.
2011...in March dressed for pirate day...not at all Irish but this photo kills me. Ry was the costume kid and always wore assorted outfits so he was thrilled to have a reason to be in his parrot suit.
2012 In Mexico...seems I don't take very many images on St. Paddy's Day but I am sharing anyways as this is one of my all time fav images of the man clan...
Sigh, I need to stop! What an emotional tangent.
All is well, and I am blessed to have a sunny morning with them and have a little outing planned.
For now I wanted to leave you with my St.Paddy's day love Pinterest board to get you in the spirit.
Even if you aren't Irish enjoy the cheer and fun traditions that surround this day.